So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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