Duck Duck Cougar?
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
Randomize
