We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
Randomize
