Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
You're like the curious george of whores
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
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