Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
Randomize
