Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
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