Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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