just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
