It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
Vodka?
Forever.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
Randomize
