I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Randomize