Just took my morning after pill in the library
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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