He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
