Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
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