Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
Randomize
