Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Randomize
