I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
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