either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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