Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
Randomize
