i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize