I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
Who died my cat blue again?
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
Randomize
