and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
