I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
i think my cat just said my name.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
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