I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
They have beer where we have blood.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
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