Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
My vagina just clenched in fear
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
Randomize
