I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
