Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
