I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize
