I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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