so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
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