Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
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