Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
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