i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
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