I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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