So drunk, too bad you don't want this
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
