so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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