when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Randomize
