I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
