Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
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