I accidentally had phone sex last night
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
Randomize
