i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
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