Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
Randomize