windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
