Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
So apparently I’m into choking now
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