He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
Randomize
