I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
Randomize
