My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
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