He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Randomize
