Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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