It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
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