So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
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