i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
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i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
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Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
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