so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Randomize
