I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
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