I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
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