he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
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