You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Randomize
