I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
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My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
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We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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