is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
Randomize
