If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
I think I have vodka in my lungs
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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