I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Randomize
