White coat. Heels.
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
