'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
Randomize