listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Randomize
