i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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