so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
Randomize
