i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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