I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
She needs sedatives and a leash
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
Randomize
