If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
Randomize
