I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
Randomize
